Knocking on Forbidden Doors Minisode 4
by Bad Day at Black Rock
Summary: When taking a breather means taking it too far.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: This fic takes part of a series based on the actual episodes of Supernatural. Sam Winchester and Ruby belong to the creator and writers for the show (you hear that guys? they OWN you). Background on Kayla can be found in previous episodes from the series.

Knocking on Forbidden Doors

Sam had been distraught since his training with Ruby the night before and she knew something was wrong. The training had been hard on him both physically and mentally; he usually came back to the room with a bloody nose and a killer migraine. Kayla was as supportive as she could be. She patched him up every night and got him a prescription for the headaches until he could manage them on his own. Still, her distrust of Ruby made her watch for any signs of something, anything different that didn't seem Sam.

The way he'd been acting all day had sent up a red flag. Something had happened, or something was _happening_ and she was afraid of what it might turn into. They hadn't even left the room, Sam didn't even want to eat.

"Sam, what's the deal?"

"I'm just tired. Rough lesson last night."

He wouldn't look at her when he explained and she knew he was lying. She went and sat next to him on the bed. "Does your head still hurt?"

"No, no it went away."

"So…what the hell Sam just talk to me."

He sighed quietly and kept looking at his hands. "I went after Lilith last night."

"Lilith? By yourself?"

"I knew I wasn't ready, I didn't want you to get hurt."

She scoffed, he didn't want her to get hurt so he left her, like Dean had done. Kayla reigned in the distaste. "So what happened?"

"It was a trap, I was jumped by her bodyguard demons and Ruby saved my life."

"She's um, she's getting useful that way I guess."

"Yeah I guess." He scuffed his foot on the ground. "It was the first time I fully sent a demon back to hell, with my psychic thing."

So now it was official. "Well, that's…good, right? That's what you've been working for."

"I know. I just don't know how to feel about it. I don't…Kayla I didn't care if I survived last night. I knew I wasn't going to take down Lilith."

She nodded, she wanted to get mad but how could she? She couldn't yell at him for something that she felt herself. Instead she took a deep breath and grabbed the keys. "Let's just go drink."

He laughed quietly and looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let's just forget about all this tonight, fuck it. Let's just get wasted."

"That, sounds awesome."


	2. Chapter 2

Alcohol worked miraculously. They started shooting hard liquor and within an hour the supernatural realm didn't exist. Neither of them talked about hell, demons, ghosts, vampires, none of it. They talked about the band, they talked about Sam's college days, they talked about the bad pickup lines guys were using on the girls at the bar.

"Check this guy out." Sam pointed with his shot glass towards the bar.

Kayla turned and watched a man approach a girl at the bar who was incredibly out of his league.

"Hey sweetheart." He smirked at her and she barely glanced at him.

Sam laughed. "Start with the sweetheart, girls love that from complete strangers right?"

"So…" the guy continued, "you look tired. But I can understand, after all, you've been running through my mind all night."

Kayla laughed out loud, she was sure when the guy looked back he shot her a dirty look. "Seriously? Guys still use that?"

Sam shook his head and took another shot. "What happened to 'Can I buy you a drink'?"

"Apparently that's not what's working these days. I'm surprised he didn't go with 'Did it hurt?"

Sam laughed and slid the empty glass across the table. "When you fell from heaven? What about, I lost my number…"

"Can I have yours?"

"Well, aren't you two perky this evening?"

They stopped when they heard Ruby's voice. Kayla glanced at her and took her next shot.

"What are you doing here?" Sam leaned back in his chair.

"Well I had some free time, thought we should probably…"

"Not tonight."

"Um, yeah, you look really busy. Anyway, I found this demon that…"

Kayla pushed her glass in front of her and walked out, this isn't why they were here. They'd spent the last four hours forgetting about this.

"What'd I say?"

Sam grimaced. "Look, we just wanted to get away from everything for the night. You kind of slapped her with a reality check."

"Excuse me for not wasting my time in la-la-land."

He stood and dropped some bills for the tip. "Not tonight, you heard me." He headed for the door.

"Fine! You're probably too drunk to perform anyway!"

He found Kayla pacing near the side of the building and walked over to her. "Hey."

"I'm ok." She whispered quickly and stepped away from him. "Don't hug me I'm fine."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd jump right back in after last night." He saw the pain in her eyes, the lost devastation that she'd managed to keep away for four whole hours out of the last two months and now she was snapped back into it. "You want to just go back to the hotel?"

She nodded. "Yeah." The longer they stood there the more he would expect her to do or say something, to admit that the void was taking over. She couldn't do it.


	3. Chapter 3

Kayla got in to pajamas and he watched her go through the motions; she brushed her teeth, sifted through her clean clothes and plugged her cell phone into its charger without so much as looking in his direction.

"You're making me nervous, talk to me."

"I don't want to talk." Her voice trembled at the end and she hated it. She hated everything.

He sighed and stood up. "Kayla, it's ok to…" he stepped forward but she backed away.

"I know it's ok but I don't want to! This horrible feeling is killing me and I just can't take another meltdown."

"It's hard, I know. But you can talk to me."

"I don't _want_ to talk, and I don't want to cry." She reached up and slid her hands over his shoulders, pulling him a step towards her.

His voice was quiet. "What are you doing?"

"Getting away from this."

She kissed him and that voice in his head telling him no was drowned out. He kissed her, softly at first but quickly gained intensity before forcing himself to pull back.

"We can't do this."

Her eyes were rimmed with tears and she spoke in a soft tone. "We can take this feeling away, even if it's just for awhile."

"I get that, I do. But this…we can't."

She kissed him gently. "Tell me you don't want to."

The shiver that ran through his body put that to rest. "You know that's not it. This isn't something to play around with."

Kayla smiled faintly through the tears. "Just kiss me, please."

Between the alcohol and his actual adoration for her he knew he wouldn't win this fight. Sam kissed her firmly and held her against him, sinking into a false security. She stepped back to sit on the bed and he leaned over her, not breaking the kiss as they lay on the bed.

But she knew it was too late, the tears were streaming down her face and she turned away. Sam wiped the tears from under her eyes but they kept coming and he kissed her on the forehead. "Just stay here Sam." Her voice had resigned to a quiet calm.

He gently stroked her hair and she leaned up once more to kiss him, as she did she moved her hand under the hem of his shirt, letting it lay on his side. Sam rested his head on his pillow and continued absently running his hand through her hair. She closed her eyes as she nestled against his neck and he reached back to pull the comforter over them. Soon they were both asleep, and neither one of them dreamt of hellhounds.


End file.
